Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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