i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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