If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
