A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
