Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
