party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
