I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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