Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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