Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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