i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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