So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
