no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
