She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
