The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
