During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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