They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize