You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
