There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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