Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i now understand why vodka
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
