I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize