Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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