on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
