Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
