I'm really into asian looking animals
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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