I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
