RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
