very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
