if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
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Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
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