I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize