Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
