Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He felt like a one man threesome
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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