Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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