i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
