Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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