If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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