i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
