I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
