bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
