Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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