I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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