listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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