There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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