Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
