Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
