I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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