It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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