How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
