Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
