My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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