So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
