So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
