Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
