Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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