Me too!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize