Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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