just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
