When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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