There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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