Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
