dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
