i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize