I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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