Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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